1. Puts his sneakers on top of the coffee table. Why? "To get them off the floor, Jane." Do we eat off the floor?
2. I've never seen him buy a new toothbrush. I always buy them. I don't even want to think about what he did before me.
3. Picks his toenails while we watch evening television. I have offered, many times, the use of nail clippers.
4. In keeping with his aversion to nail clippers, Jay rips off his hangnails. Ugh.
5. Once peed on me when we took a shower together. Now, I've been known to pee in the shower too. But never when someone is in there with me. And I certainly wouldn't act all innocent like there was a third person to blame. I probably would bring home some flowers the next day, you know, for no real reason except that I happened to pee in the shower when my spouse was in it.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
No! This is so unfair!
Dear Reader,
You know how karma sometimes asserts itself? Like, you put off doing the dishes after dinner and you stack the plates and bowls and pans and everything in the sink and the mess spills over onto the counter but you turn out the kitchen light and it doesn't really bother you. Then right as you are falling asleep you hear this terrific crash and you just know, without a doubt, that the cat has helped herself to some cream sauce stuck to the side of a dish and now the entirety of your kitchen floor is covered in broken dishes?
Try starting a blog on the premise of complaining about your husband (just a little bit!) because he was kind of a pain the day before and then he suddenly gives you nothing at all to complain about for the entire day. Nothing. Didn't hog the sheets at all last night. He appreciated the breakfast I made (wasn't all that exciting). He walked the dogs, went on a job interview, helped me deal with a very cranky person who has been making life rather difficult for us lately, and to top it all off, he was basically supportive and caring while I was having a very rough moment (due to the cranky person). Considering he has also had a rough patch lately, this show of support was incredibly super nice. I felt very loved.
However, if we are to be nit-picky, he is currently snoring. I had to wait all day to write you, dear Reader, and now he's fallen asleep (rather cute when he's all defenseless and shirtless in bed after being helpful all day).
Here's to hoping tomorrow will be a better day, blog-wise. (Otherwise, it may have to change to Complaints About Jane!)
- Jane
You know how karma sometimes asserts itself? Like, you put off doing the dishes after dinner and you stack the plates and bowls and pans and everything in the sink and the mess spills over onto the counter but you turn out the kitchen light and it doesn't really bother you. Then right as you are falling asleep you hear this terrific crash and you just know, without a doubt, that the cat has helped herself to some cream sauce stuck to the side of a dish and now the entirety of your kitchen floor is covered in broken dishes?
Try starting a blog on the premise of complaining about your husband (just a little bit!) because he was kind of a pain the day before and then he suddenly gives you nothing at all to complain about for the entire day. Nothing. Didn't hog the sheets at all last night. He appreciated the breakfast I made (wasn't all that exciting). He walked the dogs, went on a job interview, helped me deal with a very cranky person who has been making life rather difficult for us lately, and to top it all off, he was basically supportive and caring while I was having a very rough moment (due to the cranky person). Considering he has also had a rough patch lately, this show of support was incredibly super nice. I felt very loved.
However, if we are to be nit-picky, he is currently snoring. I had to wait all day to write you, dear Reader, and now he's fallen asleep (rather cute when he's all defenseless and shirtless in bed after being helpful all day).
Here's to hoping tomorrow will be a better day, blog-wise. (Otherwise, it may have to change to Complaints About Jane!)
- Jane
Monday, January 31, 2011
Welcome
Dear Readers,
This blog is a secret. Not from you, but from my husband. Right now he's out helping a relative and I am at home frantically taking a crash course on blogger to get this blog started before he gets back.
I need to complain.
But the thing is, I sometimes complain too much. And let's get one thing straight - he says "complain" I say "redirect" or "help". Others may say I nag or harp. Whatever. The point is, I think that wives have a lot to say about the education of their husbands as husbands. But to redirect a husband too much is basically signing the divorce papers early. Right? And women can go through a lot to even get to the point of marriage. This is a lot of pressure.
So I've created a name - Jane - and this blog. We'll call my husband "Jay" and the blog Jane's Complaints. I'm going to write posts on my complaints and we'll see if this has a direct impact on the satisfaction of my marriage.
It is interesting to think about marriage. It is the coming together of two people (I'm for gay marriage so please don't start on the whole discussion of man and woman - if you aren't enlightened enough to accept that love is love, then this isn't the blog for you). No matter what the circumstances are of these people, there is no chance they had the same upbringing. Every little difference counts. Jay was brought up to leave the lid on the toilet seat up. I think that's gross. I close it. I mean, germs spread when you flush or haven't you heard? (Although when I said that to Jay he basically called me difficult and picky for having so many housecleaning rules.)
So here you have these different backgrounds and you have two people committed for life (sounds like prison) and they are supposed to be happy.
When was anyone ever happy all the time?
Impossible. So this is for those who can admit they have a real marriage - you know, one that takes a lot of work. And boy, does my marriage take work. Spread the word. Give me advice. Ask for advice. Give me a good mint julep recipe. Send me a photo of your cat. But most of all, please, please, please listen to my complaints!
- Jane
This blog is a secret. Not from you, but from my husband. Right now he's out helping a relative and I am at home frantically taking a crash course on blogger to get this blog started before he gets back.
I need to complain.
But the thing is, I sometimes complain too much. And let's get one thing straight - he says "complain" I say "redirect" or "help". Others may say I nag or harp. Whatever. The point is, I think that wives have a lot to say about the education of their husbands as husbands. But to redirect a husband too much is basically signing the divorce papers early. Right? And women can go through a lot to even get to the point of marriage. This is a lot of pressure.
So I've created a name - Jane - and this blog. We'll call my husband "Jay" and the blog Jane's Complaints. I'm going to write posts on my complaints and we'll see if this has a direct impact on the satisfaction of my marriage.
It is interesting to think about marriage. It is the coming together of two people (I'm for gay marriage so please don't start on the whole discussion of man and woman - if you aren't enlightened enough to accept that love is love, then this isn't the blog for you). No matter what the circumstances are of these people, there is no chance they had the same upbringing. Every little difference counts. Jay was brought up to leave the lid on the toilet seat up. I think that's gross. I close it. I mean, germs spread when you flush or haven't you heard? (Although when I said that to Jay he basically called me difficult and picky for having so many housecleaning rules.)
So here you have these different backgrounds and you have two people committed for life (sounds like prison) and they are supposed to be happy.
When was anyone ever happy all the time?
Impossible. So this is for those who can admit they have a real marriage - you know, one that takes a lot of work. And boy, does my marriage take work. Spread the word. Give me advice. Ask for advice. Give me a good mint julep recipe. Send me a photo of your cat. But most of all, please, please, please listen to my complaints!
- Jane
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